The Stranger

Several months ago I learned of a criminal event from a highly experienced and trusted friend that involved one of his co-workers.  His colleague is intelligent, well-regarded and an upstanding member of professional society.  He also takes the topic of personal protection seriously, having purchased firearms that are stored securely and strategically around his home. And while he had sought training in the use of these implements, he had not adopted the practice of concealed carry for a variety of reasons, primarily that his place of employment officially bans the practice under pain of instant termination upon infraction.

One evening this gentleman was with his wife, returning to their rural countryside home after dark, having attended their daughter’s birthday party.  As they pulled into their driveway, they each noted that the lights had been left on and jokingly teased each other over who was responsible, the way loving couples do.  They also noticed that the curtains had been closed, which was also odd, but again they attributed this oddity to each other.    

Upon entering the home things were immediately seen to be not right.  Items had been moved, and they wondered which of their neighbors would pull such a prank.  Upon entering the bedroom things took a more serious turn.  Drawers had been pulled out, and items had been tossed around.  Jewelry boxes had been ransacked.  Such an event was so far beyond their realm of experience that they were puzzled and still couldn’t quite put the pieces together until his wife tried to enter the bathroom.  The door was locked.  The intruder was still in the house. 

At this point the gentlemen tried to retrieve his bedside pistol, which was in an electronic lock box.  The burglar had tried and failed to work the combination of that safe, so it was locked per its programming.  He retrieved another pistol about the time the burglar busted out of the bathroom and was an arm’s length from his wife.  The burglar, with his survival instincts belatedly kicking in, ran past his wife, out of the house and into the garage in a vain attempt to steal a car and flee.  And at this point this normal man, who had never contemplated the possibility of such events happening to him, met The Stranger*. 

Few of us meet The Stranger, and most of us aren’t ready when we do.  The Stranger resides in a part of our brain called the amygdala, which regulates emotional responses to perceived reality, be they threats or pleasant circumstances, through the lens of our experiences and memories.  The Stranger is unknown to most of us and in a situation with sufficient surprise and unfamiliarity, we can easily let him override our best senses and interests in situations.  (And he isn’t always wrong.  He’s there for a good reason.)  And what The Stranger was telling this man at that moment was that his wife had been in peril and that his sanctuary had been violated.  Everything he valued and had worked for his entire life for had been threatened, and that threat was right there in front of him, running away.  The Stranger’s overwhelming “Don’t let that SOB get away with this!” message prompted him to pursue the burglar through the house and into the garage, ultimately getting into a vehicle and chasing the guy far away from his home and well off his property.  He caught up to the invader and was soon holding the now meek and compliant burglar at gun point in a cow pasture.  The Stranger then receded and logic prevailed.  The local sheriff was called and eventually arrived and took the drug addled loser into custody.  The deputy didn’t pursue the legalities of chasing after a criminal that had far fled from the scene of the crime. They had been wanting to arrest this serial burglar for some time and were delighted that their work had been done for them.  That said, I can virtually guarantee that had this incident occurred in another jurisdiction that law enforcement would have at least considered pressing charges against a homeowner that had engaged in headlong armed pursuit of what was known to be “just” a property crime. The media would no doubt have headlined another case of “vigilante justice.”  Geography matters in cases of self-defense…know where you are and not just what the laws are in your area, but who enforces them.

The Stranger did not allow this good man to realize that his purpose of securing his wife and home had been accomplished when the thief ran away and off his property and that he would have been better served guarding his home against a potential return.  Worse, The Stranger prompted him to engage in armed pursuit of someone that had already demonstrated their willingness to violate the law, and murder might not be that big of a step for such an animal … he could easily have run into a fatal ambush while essentially defending nothing more than his damaged pride.  He also didn’t consider that in such an emotional state he himself might well have performed what the law would likely have viewed at that point as murder.  Circumspection and thoughts of “what could come next” go out the window when The Stranger is in charge and consequently this event could have ended in a manner he did not begin to anticipate or consequences he did not appreciate until after he sought the counsel of our mutual friend.  This easily could have gone from being the painful shattering of the illusion of security and an insurance claim to an absolute tragedy.  

The big takeaway here is that at some point, regardless of how righteous the initial circumstances of your actions, you must stop when your safety is assured, particularly if the criminal that has victimized you has left the scene.  Pursuit at such times precludes the legal principle of preclusion, and the law will take a great interest in what actions you SHOULD have taken to have avoided the ultimate outcome of an event.  Believe me this is a legality your potential prosecutor will be well versed in.  Consequently, you must stop pursuing past reasonably securing your safety and likewise you must stop shooting after the imminent threat has been resolved and your safety from that threat assured.  You simply must stop.  

This can be a tall task…The Stranger can have a firm grip upon us if we allow it and we’re not familiar with him.  And while The Stranger certainly has a place and he’s there for a reason, he also needs to be checked against your ultimate security, personal safety and legal complications for when after the moment for immediate action has passed.  No one likes to be victimized, but discernment at such times is both difficult and necessary.  Your pride will heal, and you will learn and be better prepared if there is a next time.  But you must stop or risk being judged by a legal system that is primarily interested in perpetuating itself.

Ultimately this situation turned out as well as it could.  The criminal is behind bars and the neighborhood he prowled is that much safer. The good man is back at work, providing for his family.  My friend informs me that his co-worker now has been equipped with copies of Massad Ayoob’s “In the Gravest Extreme” and Tom Givens’ “Concealed Carry Class: The ABC’s of Self-Defense Tools and Tactics” so he’s getting his learn on that way.  We’re also going to get him some range time soon.  The Stranger is back where he belongs, and they’re both more than a little wiser for the affair.   And we can all learn from The Stranger that resides within ourselves.      

*Hat tip to Billy Joel’s “The Stranger” for the terminology.  Remember, “He isn’t always evil and he isn’t always wrong.”